Milennial Dilemma

28th of July, 2022

Two hundred years ago, an average human had a pre-determined job, a career if you will, most likely in the farming industry or any sort of material production. An average human was expected to work and to procreate. Don't cause any trouble, keep your head down and you could lead a simple, humble life with your partner, who was chosen solely based on geographical proximity, and the 3 to 12 children. If we politely ignore all the wars, of course.

The only abbreviations in their lives were possibly silly nicknames for the rulers, whispered in the late night hours at the local tavern, or in absolutely guaranteed privacy of their own homes. There were no terms such as CEO, PTO, BTC, SEO, B2B, BDSM, APR, GDP, or ROI, and frankly, it should have stayed that way. Agile were the young children escaping the parental gaze, not a way for managers to pressure their already overworked, burnt out employees (I will not even pretend to feign any knowledge on what 'agile' actually means). Meetings were reserved for resolving community issues, not conducted on a daily basis, 8am sharp, points deduced if late. Everyone played their role, but did so faithfully, without a shit-eating grin on their faces and a fig behind their backs.

The human experience was simpler, more honest. It was harder, but in other ways which are unimaginable to a current year adult, such as preparing food and the house for the next winter. Such a life is, in a twisted way, nostalgia fuel for the boomers, not because they lived it, but their parents did.

"You know how hard I had it back when I was a youngster? My father was always darkened from coal and my mother was insane! Surely you can pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make it work, I did too!"

A generation so universally privileged, when pointed at for the current faults, the only victim card they can play is the one stolen from their own parents.

With each discussion about generational woes, somehow Generation X (born between 1965 and 1980) just slips through the cracks of discourse, as if invisible or insignificant, and there are plenty of reasons for that. Majorly, it was the boomers who broke the age barrier when seeking partnerships. The big age gaps between spouses was unheard of, almost taboo, among the common populace before that, and was mostly a matter of political gain via marriage between royalty. Boomers, in their infinite hoarding of all superficial, sought younger partners, snatching from the Gen X pool and thinning their ranks, for no other reason but Greed, in its purest form. Not to mention all the swinging and swapping partners and other degenerate (derogatory) activities. A direct consequence of their selfishness are the ever-increasing divorce rates. Discard the old partner, who's been with you since high school, for the shiny new thing hanging from your arm, because you've got the money now, right?

Speaking of money. Surely you've all seen the price comparisons by now. A young adult could work a summer job and pay off tuition for a whole academic year. A man worked full-time for three (3) years to pay off a family home. These people, and their eldest offspring, thought they had it all figured out, that they had the economy wrapped around their fat, sweaty pinky fingers, and the year of the Lord 2008 proved it to be true. The absolute, unfiltered Greed they showcased should have been a lesson to all the rest of us poor souls never to allow them to be in any position of power ever again.

Which takes us to the final point in this, honestly cathartic, Boomer Bash. How on this forsaken land are these ancient vampires allowed to have any power whatsoever? Why is there no cap on age for people who hold the reins in future decision-making? How can someone who was supposed to retire a decade ago run for presidency, of all things? People over the age of 50 should not be in any political position, as any gigantic mistake they decide on will never be felt on their own skin. They have no real stake in the future, and the same goes for childless people. When it is in human nature to want to leave a trace in the sands of time, evident from all the ancient graffiti ("Gaius Pumidius Diphilus was here"), a childless person will feel the inevitable itch to do so, as immortality is only achieved through having offspring, and they will do their damn best to leave their mark outside of a footnote in the history books. A high-ranking politician, such as a Chancellor or a President of a globally important country, should absolutely be a person who has children, as an insurance to the voters they will have the best interests in mind when making big decisions that will echo far into the future.

Millennials are the new Silent Generation. Falling victim to previous century's overdevelopment and utter complication of an average human's life, the Millennials bear the burden of making a difficult decision, one that we might not even actually be able to make. The boomers are clutching for their earthly possessions with their ghastly hands, and they simply do not want to let go. They still yearn for power, money, and fame well into their 70s, instead of laying back in their front porch chair with a cold beer in hand and watching the world they set on fire burn. What should have been a peaceful, amicable transition of power, as with any other previous generations, turned into a generational tug-of-war, and we are actually losing to these smug, entitled relics. Predatory banks, student debt, recession, global economic crisis (can't wait for round 2), inflation, gas prices, housing market, all weighing on our shoulders while trying to navigate this hellscape fashioned just for us, the unlucky ones to come after the arguably the worst generation ever. Gen X had the chance to at least coat tail ride off of them, and we can't count on Gen Z as they are too medicated to care about anything outside of the pixelated range of their phones flashing 15-second videos.

How about it, dear Millennials? We're already making a difference and breaking the status quo on a micro scale, such as division of household labour and a collective reluctance to purchasing branded, sparkly garbage, as well as leading in recycling and caring about the environment. In the end, it is up to us to make this world a better place for our children, since the boomers royally screwed it up for us. Do we try to clean up this burning trash can left in our garden by the previous owners, or do we cave in to our ancient overlords and let Generation Alpha try to live up to their name?

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